years of searching....still searching

Work. Love. WOrk. Love Work. Love. doing and doing to be busy with my hands and full in my heart. take my ears and whisper me of what to do with my hands day in and day out. i wish to be a vessel for truth and love. i will not try but wait patiently for the push. i dont not fear of a late arrival, it is always just on time and i am open. i am ready. when you call i will answer without hesitation or fear, i am ready.

love is not near or far, it is here. i am here.

reminding myself of who i am. who am i kidding, i barely know how i am or how i am. i know some truths and i sense the presence of others, this is enough to keep me alive and to try, to try real damn hard to separate myself from worry and ego and stress and to see the true nature of all that is.

the ovens empty, the cubbards dry but my soul is phat

So many voiuces ringing in tonight. What do you think? Tell me youre fucking story and all you have pent up in you...it's worth my time and my thought but please leave at home tyhe biggotry and deeply inbred patriarchy that youre dad told you was OK. I want to learn and I want to watch the ones around me bathe in the depths of the seas that are kept wet with love and all the tears that were wept to understand that love.

I have issues, yes i do. I dont have an open mind ready to be filled at all times of the day. My advice drys up and my patience gets stuck somewhere between here and now but listen i shall, even when my insides are unsettled and all I can do to keep present is focus on the moon and let your words pass through my ears. Love is something I am learning slowly, I'd be lying if I said everyday I walked out of the house with intention to do all that needs to be done. Sometimes I see what I need to do and ignore for lack of will, lack of want, lack of love. But I try, most days I try real hard.

Mty community needs truth. My friends need truth. My family needs the truth. I need to speak and steadily whisper parts of the whole I know to be full. Only than will we, as a people group, know true unity and individuality simultaneously.

Don't be afraid of what you know.