Writing is kind of like an opiate for me and it really only works well when im in some sort of pain. I've been confused, frantic and pissed this week but not enough pain for me to resort to writing. Learning how to write when life is right is something I need to work on.

Tonight I made a raunchy joke to the boy I use to share my bed sheets with, maybe we're becoming friends. I also held a baby and shared the sensation of curiosity with him while we listened to a thunder storm together. I've spent my childhood as an adult and all im really looking to do now is spend my adulthood as a child on drugs. My life goals and aspirations start there and end there, plus the Godhead.

The Godhead is insane to me, it started out as a hilarious few words bunched together while playing the game "things" and has ended up transforming my life. God is not cool and it is not cool to talk about God much less blog about God. But here I am, about to God blog. I was never apart of the "in" crowd any how. God is my truth. He is a concept, a thing, a being (not quite a person) that I have been trying to understand since I was 8. He's always been around me and always will be, even when I told him to fuck off. I'm traveling to Germany and than back to Montana this year to understand this truth that is still partially a mystery to me. Sometimes I think I've lost my mind, pursuing this unknown source of life but in doubt, no matter how long of a period of time the doubt lasts for, I always return to knowing that seeking is the only way I can live. I'm here to search for life, everything I do is dedicated to this search.